a week ago i was at my darling friends wedding
taking place at our city´s dark wood panelled registry office
it was a short and lovely affair, very official but light hearted and intimate
and i wish both of them (actually three - including their tiny baby boy) all the best
she wore one of our CHANGE NECKLACES with her stunning Vivienne Westwood dress
which made me very proud
and i forgot to put on my new shoes in the last minute
something i had been waiting for since i got them weeks and weeks ago...
that´s why i´m posting pictures of what my outfit should have looked like
(isn´t that PALOMA WOOL COAT DRESS amazing?!)
made her a bouquet with flowers from the garden
not the official one of course - i can´t be trusted with things like that right now
forgot it was father´s day so i gave him some wild garlic scones inspired STEPHANINI
my mom got camomille short bread, store bought macaroons 
(the first turned out utterly bitter and the second gave us food poisoning)
and a vintage candy dish i conveniently found at the flea market the day before
next week i will check into a hospital for a lot of diagnostical checks
including a spinal tap, CT scan and other stuff
and i´m utterly, utterly scared


here are a few thank-you-flowers
for your kind words and messages
and your patience when it comes to orders
it´s still only W who´s working and it isn´t easy since we do different things in the workshop
and now i have to sometimes show him how to do my tasks (instead of the other way round)
this year we had planned for him to teach me everything i didn´t know so far ( so he could retire at some point)
but none of this is happening right now
so we´ve slowed waaaaaay down
i´m still waiting, which can be very tiresome and frustrating
and i´m always so glad when a day ends on a not so bad note
still my pain hasn´t got a definite name
but quite an array of impressive possible diagnoses
it´s all so vague and keeps getting vaguer with every specialist
hopes getting shattered, good spirits crushed
and i try to choose getting better so hard
but willing to heal my body doesn´t seem to be enough most days
since i´m not so tired anymore right now
i walk a lot - by now i have found five secret paths in my neighbourhood
in case someone should be watching me, they´d probably think i´m insane
since i´m telling the collared doves i meet how cute they are,
take a close look at all the the inscriptions in the grave yard (probably not a mood booster)
and try to work out ways how to "save" those parrot tulips from an abandoned construction site
(i think i´ll do it someday midmorning when everyone is at work and there won´t be any witnesses)


a very happy easter to you
from my own personal madhouse
where i´m wearing a just arrived but already very loved straightjacket swapped from BABAA
to keep me and my mind warm and cosy
here you can find PREVIOUS EASTER POSTS

in need of a bit of reading over the holidays? JESSICA STANLEY - always


a few pictures from those weeks and months when nothing was really happening in my life
since i was completely consumed by pain and exhaustion
my nameless cat wouldn´t leave my side during the more than eleven hours i slept the first night
after my little stint at the hospital
we did spend so much time together and most of it my hands were so hurt and numb 
i could only weirdly pat her which she did not approve of
after some very false diagnoses (and medication), being scared out of my mind and afraid of actually loosing it,
feeling like i reached my limit and couldn´t go any further (then - after being isolated at the hospital for a few days - i got a roommate bravely fighting 
a seemingly lost battle, i realized how much we humans can actually take up with in our wish to stay alive)
there are still a lot of tests running and i feel so ashamed that there are a few doctors doing their best trying to help me
(when all i likely have is an out of control herpes infection and some autoimmune trouble)
because out there in this sick world there are people suffering from so much more pain and heart break
and it looks like we´re starting to loose compassion
being afraid trying to ease the unbearable might be our loss
the amazing thing during this time actually was/is how kind you are
one friend brings over take out regularly and we talk about what ails us
an other friend sends the world´s best chocolate and reading material
i order fun SUMMER CLOTHES with a third one
and get all those sweet messages - you rock, THANKS!
also i´m sorry to say i´m only able to focus on the shallow stuff right now
like being glad about my SEE SUN shirt, SAMUJI skirt and RACHEL COMEY boots
(and a few of not pictured outfits from the excellent LEMAIRE x UNIQLO collection)
all of which i get to wear hopefully really soon when the Spring weather finally comes
also i got another visit from my garden helper (and a few more from my mother)
and now everything is ready to start bursting into life and bloom
we were able to work on a lot of custom made wedding bands lately
and i do have to say it again - our clients are simply the best
they even bring pretty flowers when picking their rings up
soon i´m going to tell you about the weirdly disturbing books i read
they all seamed to go with each other in the oddest ways
and i think we have to talk about that some more


i´ve been away for so long
and these pretty pictures of our ARCADE PUZZLE RING aren´t even mine
but taken by the lovely Iris from @thingslinkediamonds
thank you so much for letting me use them!
when i´ve won the battle against this virus i´m fighting for 10 weeks now
i´ll be back for good though
(and i´m planing a little surprise for you)
SPANISH SUMMER SWEATERS (in love with that coral and light blue...)
but it´s still wintery - so: HELLEBORES